One of the many benefits to marriage is living life together as one flesh.
In just about every wedding I’ve ever attended, Genesis 2:24 has been part of the ceremony:
“For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”
And for most of my life, I would blush a little at that Scripture, assuming the one flesh meant one thing, and one thing only: sex.
While becoming one flesh does mean sex in marriage – and while the Bible is straightforward in the importance of sex in marriage – I’ve come to learn in my own marriage that becoming one flesh means so much more.
How a husband and wife are one flesh
If you’re married, you might have already noticed that the longer you’re married, the more you know and understand your spouse. You can finish each other’s sentences … because you already know what your spouse will say.
Wish you could figure your husband out just a little more? Take my (free!) 7 Days to Understanding Your Husband Better Challenge!
Becoming one flesh has everything to do with sharing your lives together as husband and wife. You don’t only share a home and a bed. You’ll share joy and sorrow. You’ll share your hopes and fears. You’ll share your successes and failures. You’ll share your money and possessions. You’ll share your bodies and souls.
You share everything with each other. And in the process, God weaves you together as one. You’re two people truly united.
This unity brings so much clarity to Ephesians 5:28 and 29 – “So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.”
As husband and wife, you love your spouse as you love yourself. You’re one flesh.
What happens when you’re one flesh
Since you’re one flesh, it’s vital to remember that any end to your marriage will be filled with pain.
Death or divorce will feel like you’re literally ripping apart your body. Because you were one flesh … and when you rip your body apart, it HURTS.
(My two cents? Avoid divorce if at all possible. Stay true to your vows and let death be the awful thing to part you and your sweetheart.)
I wouldn’t hack away a piece of my body by choice.
No … I’d like to keep everything intact for as long as I live. And that’s my picture of marriage. It’s a natural part of life that I try to protect and nurture and make healthy and strong. If something ends up diseased, you’d better believe I’m doing everything possible to heal it. If something hurts, it needs some TLC.
I think you would take care of yourself, too. In the same way, we need to take care of our marriages.
Our marriages need nurtured. We need to make sure, as much as it depends on us, that our marriages stay healthy. As we do, the joy and satisfaction we find in being one flesh will bring so much joy.
If you’re married, in what ways have you and your spouse become one flesh?
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Kendra Zimmerman says
This is a beautiful post! Thank you for sharing this encouragement. I have been enjoying reading your posts.
Hilary says
Thank you SO MUCH, Kendra!
Anonymous says
Thanks for the post. This is a topic I haven’t heard a lot about but have wondered what the one flesh actually looked like. In my marriage I’d say it means having someone to share everything with.
Anonymous says
Thank you Hilary for your wonderful insight and knowledge and helping me prepare to become a wife